Title: Hey You
Author: Monica
Rating: PG-13
Pairing: House/Wilson if you wear slash goggles
Summary: Surgery is a dangerous thing by itself, but if a patient is lying about something, then the consequences can be devastating.  Unfortunately, everybody lies--even House.

Hey You
Hey you, don't tell me there's no hope at all
Together we stand
Dived we fall.

That doesn’t look like an EGG MCMUFFIN.

Of course it doesn’t. It’s lunchtime.

You could have gotten me a big MAC instead.

I’m not ENABLING you for week, remember?

What? Can’t we call that off?

If you’re giving me the two HUNDRED right now.

No way. What do you have?

A WHOPPER.

From BURGER KING?

Yes. Smells good, doesn’t it?

That is so unfair. Do you see this CRAP I have to eat?

You should have thought of that before you made a BET.

That’s just CRUEL.

I’ll let you have it if you tell me truth.

Chase is my long lost son. Daddy ISSUES are GENETIC.

The RESEMBLANCE is UNCANNY. Don’t know how I missed it.

Would it be more BELIEVABLE if I said it was Foreman?

I thought Foreman had mommy ISSUES?

Maybe I do, too.

You like your mother.

My mother likes me.

She was here this morning, wasn’t she?

Yeah. Came to tell me that she and Dad are leaving tomorrow. Which means that if you want to INTERROGATE my father, you’d better do it soon.

Maybe I already have.

And maybe if you were Cuddy, I’d believe you.

I did. This morning, while you were talking to your mother.

You did not.

He wouldn’t give me a STRAIGHT answer, of course.

You are so lying.

I am not. He said that you were getting what you deserved.

—

Why would he say something like that?

—

House?

It was a... punishment.

A punishment?

I was seven. We were at a CHRISTMAS PARTY on the BASE and I had a STOMACHACHE. I started crying when he said I had to stay. He got mad.

—

—

House?

Well, what do you think he did? Yelled at me? Spanked me?

Your father... He hit you so hard that he ripped out your AUDITORY NERVES?

He was DRUNK. And he was with all his friends, and they would have never let him hear the end of it. He had to teach me a lesson.

He—God. And your mother...

She thought it was an ear INFECTION. My hearing came back after a week or so.

You didn’t have a CONCUSSION? Being hit that hard... You must have been KNOCKED OUT.

Does it matter?

Is that the only time your father ever...

What do you care? You figured out your PUZZLE.

House, it was never about the PUZZLE, it was about—

Save it. Fuck off.

House...

Get out.

—

Now.

Continue the Adventure!